In today's episode, I will be going over how I've been coping with the sudden loss of a loved one. I know that there is someone or maybe several people out there reading this right now that are going through the same thing, they have suddenly lost someone and are just going through it right now. So I want to share my story on how I've been coping, go over some scripture, and some steps that I've been taking to cope with this sudden loss.
I did want to say a quick prayer... LORD, I pray that You lift up every person reading this right now. Please open up our eyes, our ears, our hearts, and our minds to You Lord. Please wrap us with Your love and show us that You are right here with us no matter what. LORD, I pray that each person reading this right now knows that You are right here for them, You will never leave them, You have their best interests at heart, and You will give them peace, strength, and everything that they need to grow through this pain and to grow through every aspect of their life. LORD, I can't thank You enough for every single thing that You've done. I love You with every ounce of my being. In Jesus' name, Amen.
On the night of June 13, 2022, my cat Tinkerbell had used the litterbox and I started smelling this horrible smell that was way worse than normal. I went over there to make sure that she covered it up all the way. Before I get further into this I wanted to warn you guys that I'm going to be talking about feces and get a little graphic because I want to tell you guys the full story, so if you can't handle or stomach stuff like that, or you have no interest on reading about it, then you may want to just scroll down through these next couple of paragraphs. So on the side of the litter box, there was bloody stool. I had never seen that before so I looked it up on google and was trying to figure out what was going on. I took her litter box and cleaned it out completely. While I was doing that she had run outside with my nephew because her stomach was bothering her and she wanted to eat grass. She came back in, threw up the grass, and had runny bloody stool again on the carpet where the litter box would've been because I was cleaning the litter box at the time.
Now before this, she had slept all the time anyway because she was a cat, she was 6 years old. She wasn't a young kitten, she wasn't old either, but she did sleep a lot. Other than that she didn't seem like anything was wrong with her. She did have stomach problems pretty much her whole life she was just a "puky cat." Her throwing up wasn't constant all the time though, and I had taken her to the doctor about a year before and they told me to change her food and I did so she was doing a lot better. She would only throw up maybe once every couple of weeks. So there was no indication that she was really sick or anything like that before the night of June 13th with the bloody stool.
So all the next day I was calling vets trying to get her in but no one would take her, they were all booked up, so eventually, I got a hold of a vet and they said that I could bring her in at 7 am on the 15th and they would work her in when they could. All day on the 14th she was very lethargic, she slept a lot, and I could just tell that she didn't feel good and she kept releasing foul-smelling gas. She didn't have any bloody stool or anything that day and she actually started perking up later on that night, wanting attention from the kids, and wanting to play. She was being her crazy normal self all that night. She would always keep me up at night being wild. I actually was thinking that she was doing better so maybe I shouldn't take her to the vet but that morning when I was going to take her, her stomach was sticking out so I thought I better take her just to be safe.
She was at the vet all day on the 15th and they had felt her stomach and they felt a mass so they did an x-ray. They couldn't really see what was going on because there was a lot of gas and her intestines were jumbled up. So they wanted to do exploratory surgery but she was dehydrated so they wanted to put her on fluids all that night and then do the surgery that next morning. Me, my mom, and my nephew all went and visited her that morning for about an hour before surgery. That morning she was in such good spirits, she was looking so much better, and so I hope that everything was going to be okay.
So they did the exploratory surgery on the morning of June 16th, 2022 and they called me while she was still on the table. She had a massive tumor from her stomach to her pancreas. It was sitting right on top of her intestines and because it had gone all the way from her stomach to her pancreas it was inoperable. So the best option was to put her to sleep on the table.
Whenever I got that phone call from them asking me if it was okay to put her to sleep, I lost it. I remember being in the car with my mom, we had just got back to my house, and when I was talking to the vet and she told me the news I felt like my world was crashing down around me. I didn't know what to do, or think, I just wanted to scream and cry. That feeling was so horrible. She was not just my cat, she was my daughter, my baby girl, my best friend. For 6 years of her life I was with her constantly, I cared for her, she slept in my arms every night, she followed me around everywhere I went, and whenever I left the house I brought her with me or had to make sure she would be okay without me for a couple of hours.
I know someone reading this right now is going through a similar experience. Maybe you had a sudden loss of your pet, or family member, or loved one, or maybe someone is just not in your life anymore that you loved and that was a big part of your life. I know that it's a hard adjustment to not have them in your life anymore, it's hard to cope, and there is a grieving process, but GOD will get you through this.
Now let's get into some scripture:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6
I have to remind myself of these verses all the time because I am one of those people that feels like I need to know everything about everything and if I don't understand something I will drive myself insane trying to understand it. Throughout these past couple of months, I have been having to just trust in the LORD completely and not try to understand things that are out of my control or the reasons for things that happen in my life. I just have to trust in the LORD, know that He has my best interests at heart and that He will give me everything that I need to grow through the pain that I am experiencing at that moment.
"I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth."
-Psalm 121:1-2
So when we are going through this sudden loss of a loved one and we don't know what to do, we don't know how to feel, and we don't know how to get help, we can look to the LORD and know that our help comes from Him and He is always right here with us no matter what. He will give us that peace, strength, and everything that we need to grow through it we just have to look towards Him, reach out to Him, and ask Him for help.
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." -Psalm 34:18
So when we are experiencing this loss, we are heartbroken, and our spirit just feels crushed, we can know and have hope that the LORD is right here with us. He is close to us, He saves us, He gives us everything that we need, He comforts us, and He is our provider and our protector. We can have hope in knowing that He has our best interests at heart and that we will get through this with the LORD by our side.
"Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always."
-1 Chronicles 16:11
So when we are going through this pain, heartbreak, this sudden loss, grieving, and all of that, we have to look to the LORD and seek Him always and He will give us strength and everything that we need.
Here are 3 steps that I have been taking to help me cope with the loss of my Tinkerbell:
1. I let myself feel
- I Had to let it all out and just cry it out. There were days when I would just sit there and cry and I didn't know what else to do but just cry and journal. I would journal about all of the things I knew, all of the things I was feeling, and the facts of everything that happened.
- So I just journal, cry, let it all out, release it all, and just give it all to GOD.
- Keeping all of your emotions bottled in does no good for anyone and one day you will just end up exploding.
2. I Rest in the presence of GOD
- I just sit there and rest in GOD's presence. I look towards heaven, I am just in the moment, and feel His presence with me
- In those moments of being still and feeling the presence of the LORD I can feel the peace, comfort, and everything that He gives me.
3. I Pray & ask GOD for the strength & peace to grow through this
- GOD will give us strength and peace but it won't be all smooth sailing. There will be days where you feel down in the dumps, there will be days where You feel great, and there will even be days where you feel guilty that you feel great
We all experience grief differently and we all cope differently, but whenever we are letting ourselves feel, we are resting in the presence of GOD, and we are praying every single day and asking GOD for the peace and strength to grow through the pain, He will get us through it. I know that with GOD by my side I can do all things and there is no way that I could have ever gotten to the point where I am right now of starting to feel better about losing Tinkerbell if it wasn't for GOD being here every step of the way helping me, giving me peace, strength, and everything that I need.
We are nothing without the LORD. He is our provider, our protector, and our Heavenly Father. He gives us everything that we need, He knows everything, and He loves us unconditionally. We have to lean on Him, trust in Him and know that He has our best interests at heart. Things are going to happen that are out of our control. In this world, we are going to face hardships, heartbreak, sudden loss, and all those things, but we can get through it with strength from Christ. You can and you will get through this loss, this heartbreak this grief, this hard period of your life with the strength that GOD gives you. I hope that this episode helped you to know the steps to take to help with coping with the sudden loss of a loved one or whatever situation you are going through right now.
I love you guys so much.
Never forget to choose faith over fear.
-Lorena Camille (Faith Fuels My Fire)
p.s. If you'd rather listen to Faith-based, spiritual growth, mindset, and mental health tips, then check out my podcast. There I will share my personal experiences, stories I've never told before, and bring you along with this hot mess life of mine. New episodes daily.
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