In today's episode, I talk about why I follow Jesus Christ. I go into my full testimony of how I came to know Christ and the obstacles I faced along the way.
First I want to say a quick prayer... Lord, I pray that you lift up every single person reading this right now. I pray that You open up our hearts, our minds, our eyes, and our ears to You Lord. Please just wrap your arms around us and show us that you are right here with us. I pray that whatever it is that each person is supposed to receive from this episode that they receive it and implement it in their daily lives. I love you with every ounce of my being. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Okay, so why do I follow Jesus? What made me want to be saved by Jesus? It has definitely been a bumpy road to get to where I'm at now and I have been making plenty of mistakes along the way, but I'm so grateful that Jesus has always been right here with me. So let's just start from the beginning...
I was raised in church my whole life. When I was 5 years old my grandpa was reading the Bible to me before bed and that night the specific verse that really caught my attention was John 3:16. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son. That whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." After my grandfather had explained that verse to me I told him that I wanted to be saved. So that night at the young age of 5 I asked Jesus to come into my heart and forgive me of my sins.
Fast forward to when I was 10 years old, I was at Godstock and the pastor was talking about baptism the next morning at the lake. I told my mom that I wanted to get baptized, so we went up and talked to the pastor and I got baptized that next morning. After getting baptized I really felt like I was saved and I had a relationship with Christ. I would tell my friends and family about Jesus, I would worship Him, and I felt like He was my best friend. I went through spurts of this for years where I would really feel like I was on fire for Jesus and I would tell everyone I knew about Jesus and then there were times when I would tell people and they didn't want to hear it or didn't believe in Jesus and I would get discouraged.
Throughout my teenage years, I only went to church because my mom made me. I knew that if I wanted to hang out with my friends on the weekends I better be at church on Wednesday night and Sunday morning. Most of the time I would just go to church to hang out with my friends on Wednesday night or I would skip church and just hang out at the park beside the church with my best friend.
From the time I was 15 until 22, I went through a very wild streak. There were times when I would get really fed up with the way I was living my life and I would cry out to the LORD and try to get my life together, but then something would happen and I would end up going back to being wild and partying. I would do everything I could to get out of my right mind and not think about the feelings of loneliness, not feeling worthy, and being heartbroken. Throughout these years I was in a very toxic relationship on and off. I felt like my worth was in that relationship, so when things didn't go right I would feel unworthy of love.
During these wild years of my life, a lot of times I would try to hide from God. I knew that He was here but I thought that maybe if I just didn't acknowledge him and just kept living my life the way I wanted, I could run far away from him and he would just forget about me. I thought if I just keep pushing him away then He would give up on me and go focus on someone else because I didn't want to stop living my life the way that I wanted to.
Oh hey friend, sorry to interrupt this blog post, but I just wanted to remind you guys that "Christ Transforms Me," my 90-day journal is available for purchase on Amazon. To learn more about the journal or to purchase one, go to www.faithfuelsmyfire.com/journal
Also, when I was 15 I was diagnosed with anxiety. So throughout my wild years of partying and being in this toxic relationship, I was also struggling with really bad anxiety. When I was partying I could get my anxiety to a minimum because I was out of my mind, or I would tell myself that I'm just having anxiety because I'm altering my mind and that's why I was feeling paranoid, etc. Throughout the years when I was working, I would get very anxious at work and cry on my lunch breaks. I would feel like I wasn't cut out for a normal job because I was always so anxious making phone calls, etc. I ended up losing the last job I had because I had a panic attack on my way to work and I had to pull off on the side of the road and I missed work that day.
After I lost my job I went through a downward spiral. I was miserable and nothing was helping. I couldn't drink or smoke enough to fix the feelings that I was feeling and I felt like I had no hope. I went through these periods where I would reach out to God and I would feel good for a moment and then I would go back into living life the way I wanted to, and I did this for about a year. I did feel like I was getting closer to Christ but I didn't fully give my all to Him.
I vividly remember a moment when I was 23 years old and I was so tired of living life the way that I was and being anxious and feeling alone. I knew that something had to change. I cried out to God that day. I was listening to this song called "On my knees" and I just got down on my knees and cried out to God. I really felt His presence at that moment. That time felt different than the other times that I had cried out to God in the past. It hasn't been smooth sailing, but since then I have been strengthening my relationship with Christ day by day.
After crying out to God when I was 23, I really started reading and studying my Bible, praying to God, and building my life on Jesus. I've realized throughout these past 6 years that we just need to desire to love Jesus more than anything and to desire to live and have a heart like Him. Jesus loves us and He just wants a relationship with us.
So why do I follow Jesus? Because life is not worth living without Him. I've tried living life on my own terms. I've tried doing whatever I want and not worrying about the consequences. All that did for me is cause more anxiety, depression, loneliness, emptiness, and not feeling worthy. It got to the point where I didn't even want to live anymore. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. He makes me look forward to something. I know that because I am saved by Jesus I have eternal life in heaven with Him and God the Father. I know now that I have a purpose in this world. A purpose that I didn't see before.
Since recommitting my life to Christ, my life has changed completely. Jesus has changed my heart, my life, and my outlook on life. I know that without Him nothing in this world matters. If you are thinking that you are missing out on something by following Jesus and you've been feeling like you just want to live life on your own, use my story as an example to know that it is not worth it. It is just going to lead to more depression, anxiety, and feelings of loneliness. Nothing good comes from trying to live life on your own and disregarding your purpose on this earth. Our purpose is to have a relationship with Christ, to let other people know about Jesus, to let our light shine to others, and to have eternal life in heaven with Jesus and God the Father.
I love you guys so much.
Never forget to choose faith over fear.
-Lorena Camille (Faith Fuels My Fire)
p.s. If you'd rather listen to Faith-based, spiritual growth, mindset, and mental health tips, then check out my podcast. There I will share my personal experiences, stories I've never told before, and bring you along with this hot mess life of mine. New episodes every week.
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Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights